Random Thought of the Day

After every flight, pilots of a certain parcel delivery airline (which shall remain unnamed) fill out a form called a “gripe sheet” which tell the mechanics about problems with the aircraft. Here are some complaints submitted by pilots, and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers:

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That’s what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

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